But for ease of reading I've posted it below...
10 things I will need from you when you write your novel
1. Simplicity. Maybe that's not the best word. I don't mean that I want you to write a light novel. I like to read about darkness and complexity. I just want you to make it easy for me to follow you. My life is already too complicated to have to think hard about what you are trying to say. Use short sentences. Keep me sensing that you're taking me somewhere.
2. A relaxed and open voice. I want you to sit next to me and chat. Write the way you speak. Use the vernacular. Be breezy, even. Don't be like Louis De Berniers. Or William Faulkner. Or Patrick White. Or Don Carson. I haven't finished any books by those blokes. But I know I'm going to finish this one.
3. Humour. Give me something to laugh at. Use words cleverly. Tell me funny stories. Make me laugh at myself. Make me laugh at anything. Like this guy does.
4. Short chapters. I want to be able to feel like I'm getting somewhere. When I tell Rachel that I'll finish the chapter I'd like to be able to turn the light out on the same day. The book I'm currently reading has 35 chapters and I read 3 of them in an hour this morning.
5. Keep it under 250 pages. If I can't read it in a week I won't read it all. The one I'm reading now is 245 pages. Just short of a length.
6. A good cover. One like this. I know. I'm shallow.
7. A killer first chapter. I've started The Girl with the Dragon Tattooabout 5 times. But it's hard work. So haven't read it. It might be a ripping yarn. But I'll probably never know.
8. Characters I can have empathy with. Write about things that I worry about. And things I get angry about. And things I don't like about myself. It's not that hard. I'm a complicated person. Make me feel something. Stretch me emotionally.
9. Shock me. Make me think about the story for a day or two afterwards. Make me care about how it will end. And then end it in a way that I couldn't have predicted. That's why I liked The Kite Runner, and Eucalyptus, and My Sister's Keeper. And Romulus my Father (OK - so that wasn't a novel, but you get the idea).
10. Publish it in paperback and don't charge me more than $20.00.Like this one.
2. A relaxed and open voice. I want you to sit next to me and chat. Write the way you speak. Use the vernacular. Be breezy, even. Don't be like Louis De Berniers. Or William Faulkner. Or Patrick White. Or Don Carson. I haven't finished any books by those blokes. But I know I'm going to finish this one.
3. Humour. Give me something to laugh at. Use words cleverly. Tell me funny stories. Make me laugh at myself. Make me laugh at anything. Like this guy does.
4. Short chapters. I want to be able to feel like I'm getting somewhere. When I tell Rachel that I'll finish the chapter I'd like to be able to turn the light out on the same day. The book I'm currently reading has 35 chapters and I read 3 of them in an hour this morning.
5. Keep it under 250 pages. If I can't read it in a week I won't read it all. The one I'm reading now is 245 pages. Just short of a length.
6. A good cover. One like this. I know. I'm shallow.
7. A killer first chapter. I've started The Girl with the Dragon Tattooabout 5 times. But it's hard work. So haven't read it. It might be a ripping yarn. But I'll probably never know.
8. Characters I can have empathy with. Write about things that I worry about. And things I get angry about. And things I don't like about myself. It's not that hard. I'm a complicated person. Make me feel something. Stretch me emotionally.
9. Shock me. Make me think about the story for a day or two afterwards. Make me care about how it will end. And then end it in a way that I couldn't have predicted. That's why I liked The Kite Runner, and Eucalyptus, and My Sister's Keeper. And Romulus my Father (OK - so that wasn't a novel, but you get the idea).
10. Publish it in paperback and don't charge me more than $20.00.Like this one.
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